Today is the last day of Winter and I feel like this Spring will mark a new beginning in many aspects of my life. I’m starting a new day job, which, I pray, will allow me to further my music career. If you’ve been around the scene you know that most musicians either have day jobs… or are on the verge of homelessness. It’s even more challenging for a solo singer-songwriter because it takes money to record, publish and promote new music. And recording is more important to me than performing live. There must be a permanent record of the songs I write. What if I am taken from this world tomorrow? I cannot allow the words and music to die with me.
Saturday night at The Beat Cup Café was amazing. Nothing is more rewarding than when a stranger pulls you aside and says, “You have a beautiful voice,” or “I love that song!” As promised, I featured a set of completely new material (except for “Justice League,” which I debuted live in 2012). Sharing new material is always scary. Are the people going to like it? Are they going to understand it? And since I had a short time slot I decided not to perform any of my old tried and true numbers… sometimes you have to let the past go and focus on the new.
My goal right now is to save up the funds to get back into the studio. I have a huge catalog of unreleased material… songs that I feel are far superior to the tracks I recorded in 2010 and 2011 when I recorded ‘The Game.’ As an artist, I constantly push myself and I feel I’ve grown tremendously as a composer, a lyricist and a vocalist. (I’m still praying to meet my ideal lead guitarist/instrumentalist to collaborate with… I can’t do everything!)
At this time, I’m most excited about the rock opera I’m crafting. It’s not just something I’m “writing.” It’s something I’m building. Being an historical piece it involves tremendous amounts of research plus time invested in structuring the plot; characterization; musical elements such as the use of multi-part harmony and leitmotif. All of which is compounded by my human fears… “When am I going to be able to record this project?” “Who can I get to sing the different parts?” “How do I get a theater to do a stage production of it?” “Is anybody going to listen to it?”
I’m human. I have doubts. Those who are closest to me know that I am extremely shy, I suffer from terrible stage fright (I actually dread performing) and whenever I’m pursuing music there’s a little demon on my shoulder who says, “You’re delusional. You’re wasting your time and making a fool of yourself. Nobody cares about what you’re doing.”
But I feel I’ve been given a mission. In 2009 I received a vision of the rock opera I’m working on. The idea flashed in my mind like a bolt of lightning. Over the years I worked on other material, personal stuff about hook-ups and romance and pop culture. I recorded and released ‘Drank Too Much,’ ‘The Game’ and some singles… but the vision never left me. There is a story I have been asked by Spirit to tell… and Spirit requires that I tell this story in a certain way. There are truths which mainstream society has hidden from us. We have been deceived. I am being driven to pull away the veils and allow people to see a different side of our history and of our faith. It is time for us to be set free.